would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
