? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
