both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
