I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
