I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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