your parents love me but you hate me
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
