How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
