how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
