wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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