I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
