and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
