think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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