Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
