I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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