bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk walkin through police station. America
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
