I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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