Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
