I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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