Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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