Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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