Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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