Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
