I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
