This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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