Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
