they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
