Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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