Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
