Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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