Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
