the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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