Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
