Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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