he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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