you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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