So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
These tits shall not be calmed
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