hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
