You're so nebulous sometimes
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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