i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
