We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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