my soul wont recognize me after tonight
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
