My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
