Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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