he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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