Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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