I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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