the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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