i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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