I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
