I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
